How to review your dragon and Google

It's been an awefully long time since I last logged in in my yahoo account (which is useless, full of spam and filled with boring content) and even then just so they do not delete my account. Anyways, checking mail (53, not one was of any use) was fun, I selected all and deleted all. Then I pointed my browser towards My Yahoo...and there in movies section, found a page about HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON. when Yahoo suggested I rate it in detail, I thought, 'Why not!?'...and then it was that this review was conceived. I copied it from Yahoo, deleted it from Yahoo and logged off from Yahoo (ain't I a troll?!!) and now here I am pasting it on Blogger, and Extending it on Blogger...

The Review:
The Germanic mythology and literature has been the greatest influence on Tolkien (Here we go again (ain't I a troll!??))
And being the trollest Tolkiener alive, I declare HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON an awesome screenplay, an awesome direction, an awesome acting, an awesome video and an awesome music album (Did I miss an awesomely awesome way to behave like a geek??)

Even though the story is a classic love story with those familiar elements of Conflict, Crisis and Resolution which have come to sound pretty lame, mostly because those teen-targeting novels which have flooded the landscape of modern literature, I enjoyed the particularity of protagonist's crisis and his way of resolving it. But I think that the climax was not when Toothless and Hiccup were hit by that oversized-mountain-of-a-dragon's tail....it was when Hiccup's father found out about his not-so-little pet-friend.
And  the classification of dragons was also approaching the real celtic and germanic literature (especially Norse sagas)....to my utmost amusement....
The character of Astrid was a little bit disappointing though. I first thought she would be the one to ignite climax or anticlimax...but she just stood there, filling the scene with a humorous hit, the littlest dragon ride and that so easy-going friendly behavior with Toothless after 56 seconds of ferocity over him(?).
My favorite character was Toothless; magnificent, majestic and free, that "thing never steals food, and never misses a shot!". Intelligent and amusing, yet a proud creature of Sam-like character, courageous and strong in its own way and having a really terrestrial sense of duty towards its master/friend.
And the music!!! Gods of Norsk, Greek and Celtic mythologies!!! The music!! I can't wait for those tunes to be released...
Overall, I rated the movie A...because of Astrid, not-that-great story elements and just because I rate LOTR A+...and that definitely was not LOTR (ain't I a troll!!???)

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Sadly, today Google homepage featured Dennis Gabor's 110th birthday.

 Why am I sad about it? Well, screw birthdays, Google...its UN World Environment Day...people are already too mean to Earth to wait a few years (or decades, possibly) to start waking them up. I am also sad because Google has invested in Green Energy and has been promoting it for quiet some time now..but today, they kind of sounded like their priorities are really random (or pseudo-random, to follow abd). I don't have anything against that poor Nobel Laureate, nor am I trying to undermine him (which I am sure I can't do in 100 years, even if I try), I'm just thinking that as a responsible organization, they should at least try celebrating the things in proper order. And frankly, I am not that happy with Alfred Nobel. That dude first makes lots of money blowing up stuff and then at his death bed (correct me if I am wrong (I mean did he ever had any interest in anything like Nobel Prize except in his will (and even if he did, big deal! Thats like a cave-troll coming for Frodo's aid and then stabbing the poor ring-bearer, saying "This is what I am good at, however, when I get back to Minas Morgul, I will start a fundraiser NSEO (Non-Sauron-Evil-Organization)" in your name" (Good gods, my Tolkien-ness is directly proportional to my ferocity!!!)))) makes a gesture which, to me, sounds like "Hey fools, because I have money, I can buy an honorable position in history.

Now people will try hard to be really good, just in hope to get some money in my name...(sarcastic laughter, death (and the source of my nightmares has been detected!))"...and to award the nobel peace prize to the President of a country which is the only cause of the greatest depression since 1929 (IMHO), the only force behind the only three sizable wars which infected poor Earth's health, after WW-II, with stuff that the above mentioned dude (Nobel, for the more human beings) invented. Thats like the above mentioned troll giving an honorary degree in peace to the king of Nazgul!! How can I take THAT with silence??!!!
And above all of this, the masses of population which will be mostly effected by this climatic change, India, Pakistan and Bangladesh, have NO say in any of the decision making going on on the global forum.
As sources, I suggest you read these documents:

• This one talks specifically about Indus River and the effect of Global Warming on it.
• This one I haven't read fully..but its pretty scary...too

These documents say, and other resources too...that in the next 90 or so years, the increase in temperature in Subcontinent is expected to be around 5 degrees....which in terms of LOTR means Anduin flooding Rohan, Lothlorien and Gondor for years and then leaving them as deserts....much scarier than Sauron blocking the Sunrays and effectively contributing more than the G-8 combined to help prevent what those G-8 are doing.

And imagine The Shire being consumed by these geo-politics, only this time there are no Gandalf's brave hobbits around to get the impossible feat done....this time, we're really screwed. And to top that, on Uncle Bilbo's birthday, Gandalf doesn't even try addressing these questions :(

Well, I'll leave it at that before I start swearing more frankly and address the moms and dads of Sauron, that Troll and Gondor too...(you get this, right?)

So, tell me people, what have you been up to during my this awfully long break???

Peace,

more Peace,

Onomarith.

P.S. United Nations Conference on the Human Environment, if abbreviated, becomes UNCHE...which, if pronounced in Urdu as UN-K-HE, means "the never-mentioned"...which is ironic because Google never mentioned it today!

P.P.S. I wrote this really stupid poem for Affawn and I wanted to share it with the rest of the Shire :)

You in home or you in LUMS?

Text me when this message comes

I miss you and I am bored

Like the ozone unAlGored

Haven't had a talk since long

Haven't played you stupid songs

Haven't showed you works and stuff

Haven't told you life is tuff

Haven't ever hugged, my fryend

Haven't written a poem to send

Haven't sent a "texty text"

Haven't been, in health, my best

Haven't had discussions nice:

Virtue best or best is vice?

Haven't stolen books from you

Haven't made you pay for DEW

Haven't had an argument

Ti's been long since curses sent

Red is red and pink is gay

Don't know how much more to say

May be I should post this not

coz it sounds like you are hot

Anyways, in view is bliss,

On earth sun is planting kiss!

Onomarith signing off

kuch to kar lay Khuda ka Khauf!!!!!

P.P.P.S. Call me gay or call me troll..I miss my friend that much....

P.P.P.P.S. I don't want to believe that String Theory is right...because that means an infinitude of Universes...and with an infinite universes available, there are some in which Sauron wins...and some in which he even gets his hands on Shire and hobbits!!! (nothing less that my scariest nightmare!!!)..so, I'm sorry LHC...